In our quest for valentine, Do we understand why valetine day is celebrated and what is love?

By - Abhudai Pal  

Happy Valentine's day! 

Whenever it comes to wishing this day, people often see it as a strange day. Those who dislike this term it as the influence of western culture. 

However, the same set of people has no problem with Father's Day, Mother's Day, New year, etc., which too are consequences of western culture. 

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The peak of Hypocrisy! 

Since every relation has a day. So this day is reserved to celebrate/cherish your relationship with your partner. Historically, this day's meaning is also understood without proper context. 

In fact, Saint Valentine spread the message of love around the world. Love for your fellow human beings. It was not mandated to limit the nature of love that couples share for one another. Its context shrinks with time, and now it is used only in that context.

When it comes to love or loving your partner. Do we really comprehend what it is or how to feel it? 

Is it solely because of the flow of hormones? 

How to differentiate between fake v/s real? 

Is it entirely intuitive or logical? 

Is it merely physical, or has some other flavors too? 

I often wonder about the nature of love in a relationship. I failed to comprehend what type of affection or care is practiced in a relationship. Our mother, father, siblings, kith, and kins all love us. They love us a lot. 

But they never said you have to tell me "I love you" twice or thrice a day. 

Have your mother refused to give you food because you did not say, "I love you?" 

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Have your father stop supporting you because you forget to say, "I love you." 

I guess, No. 

But in the romantic relationship, I do not understand who created the mandate of saying rather than doing

Our parents, siblings, kith, and kins express their affection toward us by prioritizing us, communicating with us, helping us in bad times. 

So the expression of love for me should be conveyed via action rather than verbal. By helping your partner, like help them to facilitate in completing their work. 

I do not have any problem with couples saying "I love you" n times in a day. But is it fulfilling? 

I do not know!

Love and Physical relationship

Being human, our hormones brutal urges craves for physical relation. So, the majority consider physical relations as the gateway of romantic relationships

And people who justify the above approach often quote Sigmund Freud. And I disagree with them because the irrational followers of Freud live with the assumption that "sex is the driving force for every relationship." 

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If these fellows were correct, then people would be having sex all the time to save their relationship. In my view, this is not the case. 

The physical relationship does matter but calling an ingredient the entire dish is beyond my horizon. I ardently believe you should not engage with someone, solely based on bodies. 

Because 50% of people worldwide have the same genitals and body. And to fulfill your physical need, you can choose anyone from the given 50%. No rocket science! 

Problem solved? 

Your communication and emotional connection should be the sole reason to bond with someone. 

Looks and the Love 

I do believe that looks matter. If this was not the case, stories could have been told rather than shown in movies with dashing males and gorgeous females. 

See, there is cause and effect. If you like/love someone based on physical appearance (cause), that person will focus on looking good (effect). Because, if they lose look, you will discard them. 

If you like/love an individual's attitude, character, and other things. They will ensure to keep working on that. And in a movie of 3 hours, I strongly prefer handsome hunk and sexy lady. 

But in a life journey, I guess a strong character and stable-minded companion will yield more fruit. The choice is always yours. 

Intuition and the Logic 

In any situation, the rationality of a person rejects a relationship. While intuition does not stop. 

In that scenario, I followed intuition and bore the consequences that followed. 

Since the 3rd Century Roman Saint, Saint valentine spread the message of love hundreds of years before, it's crucial to abide by him, and thus I follow intuition. 

Love and Space 

When in love, sometimes over engagement leads to the intrusion of spaces. Which should be avoided as it is detrimental to a person's individuality. 

Therefore, I believe,

 "A relationship connection should be emotional, while operation rational". 

Fake V/s Real 

I think it is effortless to differentiate between fake v/s real love. A fake one has a lot to blabber. They will constantly and biasedly compliment you without speaking the truth. 

While, real one wants to talk, hear more, want you to be comfortable. They approach with patience and are not in a hurry. 

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While, fake ones are in a hurry, as their intention is clear what they want. So once achieved, they will look for another. A real one heart aches for your every tear.

They ensure your happiness irrespective of your presence with or without them, but obviously with the correct person. They want to spend every night of their life with you, while fake one just one. 

A fake has no fear of losing, while a real one fears a lot. A fake one dates many at a time, while a real one does not even think about the other one. 

In the end, after writing so much, I would conclude in the words of Rumi. 

“Are you fleeing from love because of single humiliation? What do you know of love except the name?” 

And really thinking, What I know about love is nothing

Practical Wisdom 

Love is to be conveyed via action or lip service. 

If Physical relation is romantic, you can get romantic with anyone of the opposite sex.

Looks matter in presentation but not in crest and troughs of life. 

In love, follow your intuition. 

The difference between fake and real is similar to day and night. 


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