Who is a true friend according to different religions?

By - Abhudai Pal

The existence of the sorrows, grief, pain, and apprehension are inevitable for every human on earth. Whereas, the opposite of them can be shared with anyone but to share them you need a "true friend" who empathizes with you, understands you, and supports you.

But who is a friend?

Does the addition of an adjective before friend alter its meaning too? The adjectives such as “Best friend, True Friend, my only friend” etc.

In this write-up, Friend means anyone with whom you share your joy or unworthy stuff while True friend is different. It is known that, in the last thousand years of human civilization, Religion was the code of conduct for society.

Friendship and Religion

So let us understand how does the ancient “code of conduct”  explains friendship.

According to the Bhagavad Gita,

“A man’s own self is his friend. A man’s own self is his foe”.

Bhagavd Gita

Thus Gita wants you to stop looking for external sources to share your problems and want you to become your own true friend. Ideally great but don’t you think it is impractical!

Heard Gita's advice let me tell you, what the Hadith in Islam religion has to say about friendship.

“Your best friend is the one who: seeing him reminds you of Allah, speaking to him increases your knowledge, and his actions remind you of the hereafter”

Al Muhasibi

Islam's definition of a true friend is spiritual. I don’t think that I have any friend when I see them I think about God. Based on the spirituality of friendship, Guru Granth sahib definition resonates with the above.

“Jo Naam Sunaavey Wo Mera Meet Sahaaye”

Guru Granth Sahib

The above translates into this; the one who sings, praises, god’s name, and his hymns for me is my true friend.

I believe that your friend might pray for your wellbeing. Thus, if you have such a friend you have got a “true friend”. Congratulation!

In Jain religion, friendship is called “Maitri Bhavana”. There are various parameters to call someone your “true friend”.  In short, according to Jainism.

“We must be a friend to all living beings”.

Jainism

Friendship and Indian culture

Making every living organism your friend resonates with the Hindu Philosophy concept of “Vasudev Kutumbkam” which means that “Whole world is one family”.

The last 3 religions define “true friend” as someone who connects us to the supreme authority and his living creatures. While Bhagavad Gita pushes us to become one’s own friend and overcome all obstacles by self rather than looking for someone to assist you in crying over the spilled milk.

The other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Persian, Baha'i definition of friendship are more or less similar.

Life winners on Friendship

If you are a theist and have faith in any of the above religions, that is awesome! But if you are an atheist and you refuse to accept any of the above definition of a “true friend”.

Then, I have words from the people who defeated life’s obstacle and made themselves eternal.

“I would rather walk with a friend in a dark, than alone in the night”.

Hellen Keller

 Do I need to tell who Hellen Keller was?

No, that’s great. The “true friend” is one with whom you are willing to walk in darkness. If, you can trust your friend in darkness even. Aren’t you the blessed one? Certainly, you are!

The century in which Hellen was born is over. So is the trustability of folks. In the 21st century, you deserve practical advice on “true-friend”.

Who was more practical than Chanakya! He said that,

Never make friends with people who are below or above you in status. Such friendship will never give you happiness.

Chanakya Neeti

Chanakya's words are apt for the 21st-century friendship. So do make sure, your allegedly “true-friend” is of the same status.

Looking for friendship

I believe that you don’t need to make a conscious effort to make a “true friend”. You will find him/her and you must have observed in your life that, “Birds of a feather flock together”. When you will find your flock, you will be flocking together.

And as the third president of the U.S. Thomas Jefferson said,

"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friend”.

The differences in life are paths to creativity. If you have different opinions on something then the best thing is that “You both think and you are together because of the camaraderie and not of any blind dependency on each other”.Still, if you are wondering and looking for your “true-friend”. I would say, Have patience!

The reason you don’t have a friend is best put by Ralph Waldo Emerson,

“The only way to have a friend is to be one”.

You got your answer. I don't want to say more.

Practical Wisdom

1- Bhagavad Gita says, “A man’s own self is his friend. A man’s own self is his foe”

2- “True friend is one who brings you closer to God,” implies all religions.

3- Chanakya's advice on making friends is practical

4- If you want a true friend, become someone's "true friend".